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Chapter 09

Still Becoming

What am I still searching for?

5 min read


People often ask where I see myself in five years.

It has always felt like a difficult question.

Not because I don't have goals.

But because life has taught me something that plans alone never could.

Almost every meaningful chapter of my life began somewhere I never expected.

I never planned to build websites.

I never planned to work in technology.

I never planned to become responsible for teams, projects, and people.

Years ago, I was chasing an entirely different dream.

Life smiled politely...

and handed me another one.

Looking back, I'm grateful that it did.


If there is one lesson my journey has taught me, it is this:

You don't always need a perfect plan.

You need the courage to keep walking.

Most of the opportunities that changed my life didn't arrive because I was ready.

They arrived because I was willing.

Willing to learn.

Willing to fail.

Willing to ask questions.

Willing to begin again.

That willingness has carried me much further than certainty ever could.


Today, people sometimes introduce me by my role.

I understand why.

Titles help explain what someone does.

But they rarely explain who someone is.

If you remove every title I've ever had...

I think the same person would still remain.

A curious child who wanted to understand how things worked.

Someone who enjoys solving problems.

Someone who believes good conversations can change lives.

Someone who still thinks there is always something new to learn.

That part of me has never changed.

I hope it never does.


People often assume success changes your destination.

For me, it changed my definition.

There was a time when success meant reaching a goal.

Today...

success looks much quieter.

It looks like sitting around a dinner table with my family.

Sharing stories.

Laughing until someone forgets what they were talking about.

Knowing the people I love are healthy.

Knowing we still make time for one another.

Those moments don't appear on resumes.

But I think they are the moments that matter most.


As I've grown older, another realization has quietly replaced something I used to believe.

For a long time, I tried to make everyone happy.

I wanted everyone to approve of my decisions.

To understand me.

To agree with me.

Eventually I learned something freeing.

Not every problem can be solved.

Not every person will understand your journey.

Not every decision will satisfy everyone.

And that's okay.

Peace doesn't come from pleasing everybody. It comes from acting with honesty and accepting that some paths simply aren't yours to control.

That lesson took me years to learn.

I'm still learning it.


People sometimes ask what I'm chasing now.

The answer surprises them.

Of course I want to continue growing.

Of course I want to build meaningful products.

Of course I hope my work creates opportunities for others.

But underneath all of those goals is something much simpler.

I want to understand life a little better than I did yesterday.

Technology changes every year.

People change too.

I never want to become someone who believes they already know enough.

Curiosity brought me here.

I think curiosity will carry me wherever I go next.


There is only one thing that truly scares me today.

Not failure.

Failure has already taught me too much to fear it.

Not uncertainty.

I've lived with uncertainty before.

What matters most to me now is health.

My own.

And my mother's.

Everything else can usually be rebuilt.

Time with the people we love cannot.

That realization quietly changes the way you measure every success.


Sometimes I imagine myself many years from now.

Perhaps fifty years old.

Someone might ask,

"What kind of person was Bibek?"

I don't hope the answer begins with my job title.

Or a company.

Or a project.

I hope someone says something much simpler.

"He proved that your starting point doesn't decide your destination."

Because that's the story I've lived.

I wasn't the smartest student.

I didn't study computer science because I dreamed of becoming a software engineer.

I chose networking.

I chased the Army.

I copied HTML because I didn't know how to write it.

And somehow...

step by step...

those imperfect beginnings became a career I never imagined.

If that story helps one young person believe they aren't too late...

then every difficult chapter was worth living.


People occasionally ask why I built HOME.

The easy answer would be that I wanted a personal website.

The truthful answer is different.

I built HOME because the internet has enough profiles.

Enough achievements.

Enough carefully polished versions of ourselves.

What it needs more of...

is honesty.

If someone visits HOME after a difficult day...

reads a few pages...

smiles once...

or feels slightly less alone...

then this project has already succeeded.

I don't need thousands of lives to change.

If one person finds hope here...

that is enough.


One day, perhaps years from now, someone might send me a message.

Maybe they'll tell me they also failed at something they once believed defined them.

Maybe they'll tell me they changed careers.

Maybe they'll simply say,

"I needed to read this today."

I hope I reply with the same invitation every time.

Let's have coffee.

Tell me your story.

Because I genuinely believe every person is carrying one.

Some have simply never had the chance to tell it.

I'd like HOME to be a place where stories continue.

Not just mine.

Everyone's.


If you've read this far, thank you.

Not because you've reached the end.

But because you've walked beside me for a while.

You now know things that don't appear on a résumé.

You know about the dream that changed.

The HTML file that began everything.

The people who believed in me.

The airplane window.

The family dinners.

The quiet hopes I still carry.

That feels far more meaningful than listing accomplishments.

The truth is...

I'm still learning.

Still making mistakes.

Still changing my mind.

Still discovering new questions.

Still becoming.

Maybe that's the point.

Maybe none of us are ever finished.

Maybe life was never asking us to become perfect.

Only to keep becoming.

So wherever your own story is today...

Whether you're standing in front of an open door...

A closed one...

Or quietly looking out of your own window...

I hope you keep going.

You never really know which ordinary day will become the beginning of everything.

Welcome to HOME.

And if our paths ever cross someday...

The coffee is on me.